The Broken Portal Excel Saga Version
by Tsubasa Kya
Summary: Prologue in profile. Miroku and Jaken woke up in a world that Miroku plans to thoroughly enjoy. Chapters should get longer, although no promises there.
1. Part one

**Title: The Broken Portal Excel Saga Version  
**Author: Tsubasa Kya  
_Disclaimer__: This fan fiction is dedicated to feathergriffin who asked me to write it.  
Saiyuki—Don't own  
Full Metal Alchemist—Don't own  
YuYu Hakusho—Don't own  
Excel Saga—Don't own  
Ghost Hunt—Don't own  
Inuyasha—Don't own_

For Old Readers: I decided to change things so it is easier for you to get updates on your favorite version, instead of waiting five chapters. The prologue to this story is its own thing now, and each seperate version of the story will have its own "story" link this way.

For Newcomers: If you have not read the prologue to this story, please go to my profile. The prologue is not long and explains exactly how the Inuyasha characters ended up in a seperate world. You do not have to read the other versions if you do not want to, as I do not predict that they will cross in the future.

...great... this means I have 5 separate stories to write now, instead of the previously planned single story. Although, Feather may be pleased with this, as she really only wanted the Saiyuki version anyway.

* * *

Part One

Miroku groaned as he woke up. He was lying on a very cold and hard surface that felt as smooth as silk. Of course, he rather wished he was in a comfortable, silk garnished bed with a lovely lady…

Then he opened his eyes when he heard the beautiful voice of a woman… "ALL HAIL LORD IL PALAZZO!" she cried. An equally beautiful voice of a woman said the same thing at the same time. A third equally beautiful but much quieter voice was only seconds behind.

He sat up and shook his head to clear it of cobwebs then glanced toward the beautiful women. His jaw dropped. "I love the black flame," he muttered. "Scantily clad women…" Tears filled his eyes. "It is a fine example of divine intervention…"

Then Jaken just had to ruin the picture of three women by squawking at them, "EW FEMALE FLESH!" Jaken was a strange purple color (was that healthy?).

Two of the women, the noisier of the two, darted at Jaken and started stomping on him. Miroku noticed a man (was that Sesshoumaru, or was the world insane?) standing by and allowing the abuse.

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT OUR LORD IL PALAZZO'S TASTE IN FEMALE UNIFORM!!" the women shrieked. Miroku was in heaven… Just get rid of the toad and the strange almost-Sesshoumaru look-alike, and the world would be perfect…


	2. Part two

**Title: The Broken Portal Excel Saga Version  
**Author: Tsubasa Kya  
_Disclaimer__: This fan fiction is dedicated to feathergriffin who asked me to write it.  
Saiyuki—Don't own  
Full Metal Alchemist—Don't own  
YuYu Hakusho—Don't own  
Excel Saga—Don't own  
Ghost Hunt—Don't own  
Inuyasha—Don't own_

* * *

Part Two

Egala. Excel. Hyatt. They were such beautiful names. They perfectly matched the beautiful bodies. Their clothes left very little to the imagination. Miroku loved this new world. If given the chance to go back and take revenge on Naraku or stay in this new world, he wasn't sure what he'd do anymore.

"ALL HAIL LORD IL PALAZZO!!" Miroku joined in the chant, wearing his usual monks robes. His cursed hand was raised skyward. After a week, even Jaken was joining in the chant, although afterward he immediately launched into a tirade about proper clothing.

Senior Hyatt blushed as usual over herself, and Senior Excel and Senior Egala marched over to Jaken and started pounding on him, yelling about how the clothing was Lord Il Palazzo's design and he was the best clothing designer in the whole world.

A rope started falling out of the ceiling in front of Lord Il Palazzo and came to a stop just low enough for him to reach out and grab it. Yes, this was Miroku's favorite part of the day. Lord Il Palazzo pulled that pretty yellow rope and a hole in the floor opened up, dropping Jaken, Senior Excel, and Senior Egala down into a pit of water.

And then as Senior Excel and Senior Egala worked on climbing back up the spout, Jaken could be heard screaming obscenities. Senior Excel and Senior Egala fought to be the first one out of the hole. Lord Il Palazzo launched into his daily speech.

"This world is corrupt. It needs a new direction and a leader."

"All hail…" Senior Excel began, "Our most beloved and greatest leader of all leaders…" she huffed, standing so wet that Miroku could tell she was cold. Yes, he'd follow this crazy wanna-be ruler since it clearly meant he would get to see wet, nearly naked women in person every day. After all, the plots to rule the world were ridiculous and would obviously never work. And there were people who tried to stop Lord Il Palazzo from ruling the world too (although they caused as much as or more destruction than Senior Excel and Senior Egala could possibly hope to).

"This world needs…" Miroku tuned the speech out. Ah, he was so happy… His hand might still be festering with the curse, but he would die an incredibly happy man.

What a wonderful world…

After the "World Domination" speech, Lord Il Palazzo excused the three women much to Miroku's misfortune. Mince, the tiny puppy, howled in terror as Senior Excel picked him up and hugged him to her breast. She took long, cheerful steps toward the exit.

Miroku wanted to be that puppy. It was so unfair. Sure, the puppy had to deal with the fear of being spare rations (Miroku found that out much earlier on) but Miroku would die a happy man to be eaten by those women…

Smiling—or grinning lecherously, as he had a much harder time keeping hold on his perverted side lately (could he really be blamed? He lived with three half-naked women!)—Miroku looked to his new leader. "Yes, my Lord?" he asked.

Jaken's screechy voice fluttered up the chute. "BACK YOU BORISH CREATURE! LORD SESSHOUMARU HELP YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT!"

Lord Il Palazzo ignored the screaming. "Monk, I never got your name." Ah yes, Miroku had been wondering when the seemingly forgetful Lord would remember he never gave his name.

With a flowery bow, Miroku said, "The humble Miroku, oh great and powerful Lord Il Palazzo."

"Ah! Right, right," Lord Il Palazzo nodded. "Excel found you and the green blob. In your service to me, are you pleased?"

Miroku thought of the night before. The apartment had two beds. His grin would _not_ go away now. Living in the apartment were the following people: Senior Excel, Senior Hyatt, Senior Egala, Mince, Miroku, and Jaken. Jaken got his own bed. No one would sleep with him, and the women did not want to sleep on the floor.

"I am happy, my Lord." He almost had tears of happiness at that memory. His 'cursed' hand had stilled itself in this world too. He didn't _need_ to grope! He slept with beauties!

"I am worried the current location of my servants is not large enough. Excel would never admit it to be too small thinking I challenge her loyalty to me, and Egala complains over anything smaller than a castle. Hyatt is too polite to be truthful. Are the current living arrangements large enough?" Lord Il Palazzo spoke in a voice that seemed almost as if he didn't remember the first words he'd said by the time he'd spoken the last.

"Ah," Miroku was still smiling. "No, my Lord. The living arrangements are perfectly sized." Why would he say anything else? Jaken made it so that the women slept with Miroku every night. He kept them warm…yes, yes he did. "But funding is short, my Lord. I worry over the ladies health, especially Senior Hyatt."

It hadn't taken long to learn about this world. Jaken stood out like a sore thumb, being green and toad-like. Miroku stood out because of his clothing. He wanted clothes of this new world to fit in better. There were so many beautiful women around… He wanted to walk among them without strange stares.

"Ah… Yes… you mentioned being from another world." He reached into his cloak and pulled out an envelope. He tossed it at Miroku and the monk caught it swiftly in his right hand. "That is money. Use it wisely."

Miroku knew a dismissal when he heard one. Grinning lecherously he bowed and left, screams following his departure. "LORD SESSHOOOOOUMARU!"


End file.
